


Just a Sleepover With Natsuki

by Smolkobold



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Doki Doki Literature Club! Spoilers, Horror, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other, Rest of Tags Omitted to Avoid Spoilers, Self-Harm, Sleepovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 07:18:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16383749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smolkobold/pseuds/Smolkobold
Summary: Yuri invites Natsuki over to her house after school for a sleepover. Although it's stressful for Yuri, she finds the experience enriching and fun! Yuri and Natsuki take some time to write poems and get to know each other in ways they never got a chance to before.**Some tags are omitted due to spoilers. Continue at your own risk.**





	Just a Sleepover With Natsuki

Yuri inhaled deeply and closed her eyes for a second before she slid her key into the doorknob, turning it sharply to the right. Under the force of her wrist, the door relented, giving way to her elegant porch. Yuri held the door open and stepped to the side.

“W-Welcome to my home. M-my parents are gone for the weekend, b-but they’re alright with you staying.”

Yuri wasn’t used to having her own guests over. She was an only child and until she joined the Literature Club she didn’t have many friends. Now, she had people she could share her thoughts and experiences with and she found it very fulfilling.

“Your house is so fancy!” Natsuki exclaimed, rushing into the porch and tossing aside her dirty sneakers. Before Yuri could manage to close the door, she had already changed into her indoor shoes and was exploring her house.

Yuri changed into her indoor shoes and followed her, turning on the lights in the living room, parlor room, and kitchen in turn. Natsuki, on the other hand, was dashing about, trying to pull in as much atmosphere as she could manage. She jumped up as high as she could, trying to touch one of the chandeliers.

“P-please don’t break anything...” Yuri warned meekly.

“I won’t!” Natsuki called back, now shifting her interest to a vast wall-mounted television.

“Do-Would you like s-some tea...?” Yuri inhaled nervously, becoming increasingly aware of the number of expensive and fragile objects in her house.

“Yup!” By this point, Natsuki was occupied in her investigation of the Chesterfield. Yuri decided to leave Natsuki to her own devices and boil the kettle on the stove.

It wasn’t really any faster to use a steel kettle over an electric one, but Yuri felt like it was more refined. There was something about the soft whistle of the kettle with the little puffs of steam that made it a better experience. Besides, she had gotten into the habit of using hot, not boiling water for steeping her tea and she felt like had a superior flavor. Yuri didn’t bother Natsuki with these thoughts because she didn’t think it would interest her much. 

“Yuri! Why do you have a pocket knife on your desk? Do you whittle wood or something?”

Yuri’s heart immediately jumped out of her chest. She had forgotten to put away her favorite knife after last night’s session. She tried to think of a reason on the spot, but she failed to find anything that sounded convincing.

“U-Umm...”

“Do you feel like you’re in danger? Who would you ever have to be afraid of? Are you some sort of freak that carries a knife?” Natsuki continued asking questions at a rapid-fire pace. Each word drilled into her skull until it struck a nerve and Yuri couldn’t take it anymore.

“Natsuki stop! It’s just something I have! You do not need to be so crass about it!” Yuri hissed from the kitchen. 

Yuri’s words were followed by a short silence, punctuated only by the soft whistling of the kettle. She hadn’t taken it off the heat at its normal time, so the water had passed the temperature she wanted it to be. As she poured the water, she wished she too could let off steam harmlessly. She thought about her body and her heart sank. Natsuki slid down the stairs by the banister and cut across the parlor to the kitchen, clumsily twirling Yuri’s knife.

“Natsuki, that’s really dangerous,” Yuri warned, her eyes fixed on the silver sheen the blade emitted at each turn.

“Oh whoops!” Natsuki looked down at the knife slightly shocked and gave a little chuckle.

“I wouldn’t want to hurt myself by accident. At least I didn’t mess up and fall.”

Yuri leaned over and carefully lifted the teapot. She carefully put her fingers over the lid and tilted it. Pale amber tea cascaded from the spout, filling each cup below the brim from a height. Yuri had read somewhere that the height the tea drops from changes how it tastes, and she was curious as to whether it was true. Natsuki spun the knife around to get a better look at the polished rosewood handle and suddenly dropped it onto the table.

“Ouch! That’s it! I learned my lesson. I won’t touch it again.” Natsuki apologized, squeezing her right index finger until a tiny crimson bead formed.

Blood.

Right there.

Yuri’s heart fluttered as she tried desperately to peel her eyes away from the wound. She felt something familiar stir within her like a wild beast, fighting to take control. _Isn’t it beautiful? That bittersweet sensation, Natsuki? Don’t you want to feel that again and again? Have you ever thought about doing that to someone else? Do you think that’s weird? Have you ever cut yourself Natsuki? Wouldn’t it just be wonderful to share those feelings with someone you love? ___

____

____

Yuri stopped.

“Oh my goodness, are you hurt?” Yuri exclaimed, clenching her right fist behind her skirt as she spoke. She focused as hard as she could on her hand, trying to draw her attention from what was going on.

“I’m OK! It takes more than that to kill me!” Natsuki boasted, grabbing her teacup and saucer before plunking down at the kitchen table.

Yuri smiled, feeling everything inside her slowly settling down as she sipped at her tea. She couldn’t tell the difference dropping the tea into the cup made, but she could have tried not boiling the water for next time. It tasted slightly bitter, with a flavor that blossomed outwards with the heat of the water. Yuri smiled and closed her eyes, thinking about what to say next.

“What are you writing about in the poem we’re bringing in tomorrow?” Even though Yuri wasn’t particularly fond of Natsuki’s style, she still enjoyed hearing about what she wanted to write. She didn’t admit it, but sometimes she was jealous of the raw emotion Natsuki could manage. Writing was always extremely personal, but Yuri always took additional steps to obfuscate how she really felt. There was an art in that she appreciated, but it also existed to protect her.

“Oh! I wanted to write about lots of pretty colors, but not like the regular ones. These ones make noises too!” Natsuki giggled, but her eyes remained serious.

“T-that’s a little abstract compared to what you usually do. What made you decide to move in that direction?” Yuri asked cautiously. Talking about deep feelings is always a dicey proposition. She sipped her tea thoughtfully.

“I Just thought I’d try writing something different for a change. All these poems you guys have been writing have made me want to try something new, n-not that I think there’s anything wrong with the way I wrote before!” Natsuki pouted and looked away in an almost comedic act of seriousness before lifting her cup from the saucer and taking a big gulp.

“It’s always good to expand your horizons when it comes to creativity, Natsuki. I’m proud of you.” Yuri smiled softly.

Natsuki’s face immediately flushed a deep shade of red, and she ran off without finishing her tea. In moments, she rushed back holding a dirty scribbler and a lightly chewed blue pen.

“Come on! Let’s do our poems right now, but no peeking!” Natsuki said seriously, furrowing her brow as she stared at the empty lined page as if it were covered in complex mathematics.

“Of course. Let me get a pen and some paper.” Yuri reached over to her backpack and pulled out her notebook and pen. 

Yuri valued a pen with a consistent feeling of flow, so for her birthday she asked for a pen. It was a beautiful, elegant pen with dark curves and light, silver accents. Every time she pulled it out, she felt inspired. Yuri would never admit it, but sometimes she felt as if she wasn’t worthy of its ink and would write with lesser implements. This was especially the case when she was freewriting or brainstorming a story or poem. 

Yuri curled her notebook over and stared at the blank page. Immediately, an agonizing migraine struck her like a sledgehammer to the head. She bit her finger hard trying not to cry out, but she still did. The world began to spin like she was on the very edge of a massive gear, dangerously close to falling off. She screamed, falling to the floor and clutching her head. Crows swarmed the inside of her skull, picking her brain to pieces before she was dead. Thoughts spilled into her mind by the thousands, each echoing a dozen more times.

The sound eventually built up such noise that it was deafening. Yuri couldn’t even hear the sound of her own screams under the horrible commands and squawking of the crows. She could hear them, begging her to kill Monika, kill Natsuki, kill everyone. There was an image of someone she had never met before but felt familiar to her nonetheless. The figure was dead. The knife on the table called her to action and told her that if she refused to act, she would be killed for treason. The clock on the wall unlocked her ribcage and climbed inside, ticking against her heart faster and faster until she felt like she was going to have a heart attack.

Yuri started foaming at the mouth, screeching and kicking the fine china cups to the ground. The blood-filled teacups spilled over her and greedily took along her flesh with it as they splashed onto the ground. Everything turned to gears, and all of the thousand voices were not hers. She could recognize the voice, but not from where. The tiles on the kitchen floor stood up and left, taking away her fingers with them and leaving bleeding stumps where she thought they were. She took deep breaths but the air inside her lungs always escaped. She was drowning there on the floor and Natsuki wasn’t even bothering to help her back up.

Yuri screamed louder this time, her fingers digging into her scalp and drawing blood. All at once, these feelings absconded, and she was staring at a completed poem with perfect, Yuri-like handwriting.

“Are you OK? You were spacing out a bit there.” Natsuki asked, her voice filled with concern.

“Yes. I just tend to focus deeply when I’m writing something important.” Yuri smiled weakly, trying to mask the horror of what she had just experienced. Yuri had never experienced these feelings until recently, but they were becoming more frequent by the day. She wished that they would stop just as suddenly as they started. If they didn’t stop by the next week, she promised herself she would tell her parents and try to see a therapist.

“It’s good that you care so much about it,” Natsuki said.

“I’m almost done mine, how far are you into yours?” Natsuki added, clearly proud of her progress.

“I’m done with mine. I might make some changes later, but for the most part, I think it’s good.” Yuri said, looking down at her page.

It was entirely comprised of abstract gibberish. Words that Yuri would never ordinarily form sentences and statements from strung together in a weak chain of abstraction. If not for the risk of those feelings coming back, Yuri would have scrapped it and started again. She would be embarrassed to show her friends tomorrow, but at least she had something to show. Yuri closed her notebook and slid the pen into the elastic on the front. She returned it to her backpack and finished her tea as she watched Natsuki write.

Yuri found the way Natsuki wrote to be just as cute as everything else she did. She would often shake her head or whisper words to herself in between lines, and sometimes she would tap her pen against her lower lip, nibbling it. Sometimes Natsuki would even cross out big sections and start over from half a dozen lines earlier, exhaling loudly as she did. After about fifteen more minutes of tea sipping and frustration, she smiled broadly and slammed her scribbler shut.

“I did it!” Natsuki beamed.

“I’m glad you managed to finish your poem,” Yuri congratulated her, collecting the teacups and washing them in the sink. She quickly rinsed the teapot and put that away as well.

“Yuri?”

“What is it?”

“Do you ever eat food or do you just live on tea and words alone?” Natsuki stuck her tongue out and nodded her head in the direction of the kitchen counter Yuri was already standing at. It was already dark out and Yuri hadn’t made anything for either of them to eat, not even a snack.

“O-Oh! I’m sorry. I-It must have slipped my mind. I got pretty carried away writing and talking with you.” Yuri smiled, and Natsuki grinned back.

“What do you have planned to make, Ms. Fancy?” Natsuki asked playfully. 

Yuri became suddenly aware of her lack of cooking skills. By no means was she terrible, but it paled in comparison to her knowledge of English and tea. She knew for a fact Natsuki knew how to bake, and she didn’t want to look like a floundering amateur in front of her. Yuri’s heart pounded but she smiled softly to buy time until she was struck by an idea.

“Do you want to make something together? That would make cooking even more enjoyable.” Yuri propositioned, opening the fridge.

“I’ll even let you pick out what we-“

“Yeah!” Natsuki’s eyes lit up with joy and she bounded towards the pantry, throwing open their thick oaken doors and examining them thoroughly.

“Do you have anything unthawed, or maybe any vegetables?” Natsuki asked, staring into the pantry thoughtfully.

“N-No. I forgot…” Yuri admitted. Her family usually picked up fresh vegetables after work and prepared dinner then, but right now there were only leftover carrots and a quarter clove of garlic left in the fridge. 

“Besides, It’s thawed, not unthawed because that would imply you froze it,” Yuri added, hoping Natsuki wouldn’t notice her lack of foresight.

“Yeah, well, if there’s nothing to warm up, I can whip something up right quick!” Natsuki dug into the pantry face first, taking a couple handfuls of spices and placing them on the counter. She then grabbed a pot and filled it with water.

The water quickly came to a boil and she poured in the rice, expertly mincing the garlic and chopping up the carrots. She took a little bowl and mixed some seasoning, then added some soy sauce and some liquid from a couple bottles Yuri didn't even recognize. Yuri sat at the table and watched Natsuki work in awe. Just watching her subtle movements was mesmerizing. Natsuki was really an expert, not that Yuri would admit it. Before Yuri had thought to help, Natsuki placed a steaming bowl of stir-fried rice before her.

“it's ready!” Natsuki exclaimed before shoveling a huge mouthful of rice into her mouth. She closed her eyes and savored her meal before surprise crossed her face. 

“Ish hot!”

Natsuki swallowed and shook her head, smiling. “Be careful!”

Yuri carefully lifted her chopsticks and took a modest mouthful of rice. The flavor was unfamiliar but very savory, and Yuri immediately went for more. Within a few minutes, the girls made short work of their impromptu dinner. Afterward, Yuri picked up the bowls and washed the cookware. Natsuki dried off the wet bowls, proud of her efforts. Yuri thought about apologizing for arguing in front of the new member of the club, but she imagined they had made a silent agreement not to bring it up again. Neither of them was very good at admitting their faults. Maybe that's why they became friends, Yuri wondered.

“See? I'm good at some things if I put my mind to it!” Natsuki puffed up her little chest, pointing to herself to signify her importance.

“Y-yes. Thank you for cooking for us.” Yuri stuttered, wondering where else this night would take her. It was already getting dark, which was a shame because she was quite enjoying having a friend over for once. Although her parents weren't around, Yuri still didn't like to stay up late. She also didn't want to mention it, but she had no idea how her family’s TV worked. It was mainly there for her parents to watch the news, and sometimes sports. She was forbidden from watching anything alone, not that she minded too much. It kept her focused on her reading, writing, and school work.

Yuri smiled softly and meandered slowly over to the staircase, making sure to pick up her knife on the way back. Her parents would kill her if they found out about her collection. Natsuki noticed where Yuri was headed and flew up the stairs, nearly knocking her over with her hasty ascent. She dashed around the corner and blew open her door upstairs. Yuri could hear Natsuki giggle as she soared through the air and landed on her big, soft bed.

Upon entering, Yuri stifled a chuckle when she noticed there was a Natsuki shaped indent in the bed.

“Are you OK?”

“I'm better than OK! Can we light one of your candles?” Natsuki made angels in the bedsheets, squirming around. It was hard to understand her muffled voice, but Yuri still got the message.

“U-uh…Y-yes, I guess.” Yuri had picked out that candle for if the cute boy at school were ever to come over. She didn't mention it but she was intensely jealous that he picked baking with Natsuki over her. Not having a good enough excuse, Yuri nodded.

Natsuki snatched up Yuri's purple lighter, flicking it and pressing it into the candle without turning it over. Once lit, she inhaled deeply.

“Wow, it smells so good!” Natsuki stuffed her face in the candle, lighting up her chin and lips. 

“Can you turn off the lights?” Natsuki asked quietly. 

Yuri reached over to the side of her room and flicked the light switch off. Almost immediately she was struck with something warm and soft. She grabbed onto it and looked down to see Natsuki's skirt in her hands. Quickly following was her top and socks. Natsuki reached over the side of the bed and shuffled around in her soft, pillowy sheets. Natsuki emerged in a full set of cute, pink pajamas under candlelight.

“Come on. Get dressed for bed!” Natsuki urged Yuri. Yuri was extremely nervous. She had never slept in the same bed as someone else since she was a toddler and it made her anxious. Yuri rooted around in her dresser for a moment before dashing downstairs to the bathroom. She locked the door and stood there In silence. She couldn't hear anything over the pounding of her heart and it made her even more nervous. Yuri clasped her pocket knife tightly, squeezing it through her clothes. I can't continue like this. She thought.

Yuri unfolded her knife and took off her shirt. She felt sick the moment she saw her scars in the mirror. She pushed the image from her mind and focused. She shut her eyes and pressed the blade to her bare skin, pulling in one swift motion, and then again. She inhaled sharply when she felt the knife cutting through her soft, delicate skin and all at once her fears abated. She felt renewed, surging with a new confidence to continue.

Peacefully, she undressed and changed into her pajamas. Usually, she just slept in her underwear but she didn't feel comfortable doing that with Natsuki around. Yuri picked up her clothes and slipped the knife into her pajama shirt pocket. She climbed the staircase and opened her door with care.

Natsuki played idly with the warm candle, finally looking up to catch Yuri putting her dirty uniform in her hamper. Natsuki’s hair was tied up into a short ponytail instead of her usual two pigtails.

“Come on! I want to have a chance to talk before we go to bed.” Natsuki put her finger in the wet wax and watched it dry, peeling off the hardened wax and letting it fall back into the candle's container.

Yuri uneasily shuffled towards her bed and lifted the sheets. Inside was a small and snug Natsuki grinning at her. Yuri got on one knee and rolled over her, lying down closest to the wall. The bed was surprisingly warm now that there was someone else inside of it. Besides the candle, Yuri could notice an artificial strawberry scent on her. 

Yuri kept her distance, but Natsuki insisted on getting closer than she was comfortable with.

“Your bed is really comfy,” Natsuki said quietly, stretching her arms upwards until she lifted her shirt, exposing her pale, flat tummy to Yuri.

“T-thanks…” Yuri answered bashfully. She was not very comfortable with Natsuki in her bed, but it was too late to tell her to find somewhere else. Besides, Natsuki looked so cozy it would make her guilty.

“So are you interested in any boys?” Natsuki stuck her tongue out after asking, clearly aware of what she would answer.

“Umm…Well, I-I suppose you could say there is someone I am interested in…” Yuri nervously stammered out a reply. Her heart began to race again.

“Yuri, you really like that new boy at the literature club, huh? You’re always giving him the lovey-dovey eyes.” Natsuki teased.

Yuri nodded silently under the dim candlelight and Natsuki pouted solemnly. “Did you know that Monika is trying to date him too?”

Yuri's heart sank. Monika was one of the cutest girls in school and a natural leader. Yuri was immediately overcome by a deep feeling of self-consciousness.

“N-no I wasn’t aware of that…” 

“Did you know that she's only been late because she's been trying so hard to make a song that expresses how she feels about him?” Natsuki's voice shifted to a slightly more accusatory tone.

“W-Well... I'm sure he'd rather decide for himself than have somebody interfering with his love life...Maybe he loves me instead, wouldn’t that be alright?” Yuri felt bad for stepping on Monika's toes, but at the same time, she refused to betray the desires of her heart.

“And why would he want to be with you?” Natsuki rolled over and straddled Yuri's thigh, sitting on top of her. Yuri could feel the heat of her body pressed against her.

“W-we-well I'm pretty knowledgeable about literature…and I'm, very caring…” Yuri's voice trailed off as Natsuki climbed higher, now standing on her knees over Yuri and leaning down towards her face.

“Do you really believe you’re as good as Monika? She's good at everything and doesn't shy away from stress as you do.” Natsuki’s tone was now hostile, her face distorted under the flickering candlelight.

“Natsuki, what's wrong with you? Stop being so rude!” Yuri raised her voice slightly and Natsuki grimaced. 

“Besides, do you think he'd still love you if he knew you cut yourself like a freak?” Natsuki pressed her body tightly against Yuri's in a bizarre embrace, lifting her sleeve and revealing her scarred wrist.

Natsuki pressed her fingernails roughly into one of Yuri's fresh cuts, scraping the scab open and staining her nails. Fresh crimson beads rolled down her wrist as Yuri choked back tears of agony and shame.

“What would he think of those disgusting marks? Do you think he wouldn't just walk out the moment he saw your baggage?” Natsuki pressed her soft, small tongue to Yuri's cheek and lapped up her tears. Yuri thrashed below Natsuki but her nails dug deeper with every movement she made.

“NATSUKI STOP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD FROM YOU!” Yuri shrieked, inches from Natsuki's twisted visage.

“What would he think about your disgusting, matted pubic hair? Do you have no shame? You’re filthy.” Natsuki's eyes seemed to gleam a venomous shade of emerald as she hissed. Natsuki forced a small and delicate hand down Yuri's pants as if to prove her point.

“NATSUKI STOP!” Yuri felt like her heart was going to explode. She had never felt so betrayed and insulted in her life.

Yuri felt something deep inside her snap. Suddenly her hands took over. She reached into her shirt pocket and unfastened her pocket knife. As she felt Natsuki's hands sink further into her pants, she thrust the blade into her gut. It slid effortlessly through her pajamas and skin, and soon a deep colored liquid seeped from her stomach.

“I’m OK! It takes more than that to kill me!” Natsuki boasted, mocking Yuri's feeble attempts.

“What would he think Yuri...”

“NEVER SPEAK AGAIN!” Yuri screamed, stabbing Natsuki's petite, exposed stomach once more.

“If he found out about your first…”

“STOP!” Yuri begged, driving the knife into the side of her head. Natsuki's hair stained a much warmer color as thick blood seeped from the wound. Natsuki's eyes were now calm, although her grimace was wild.

“You just had to experience more. Drive that hairbrush a little deeper until it was too late!”

Yuri screamed. She threw Natsuki's tiny body over and began driving the knife into her chest. She panted madly, stabbing with the rhythm of her heart over and over. Stabbing to make her pain go away. Stabbing to make her words all lies. Stabbing until she collapsed in a heap over her friend’s unmoving body, completely soaked in her blood.

Yuri looked down to see Natsuki's mangled corpse. She could barely recognize her face after she stopped herself from cutting her. Yuri felt sick deep in the pit of her stomach. She had done the unthinkable.

“Oh no…”

“Natsuki…Please…Please be OK…”

The bloody lump of hair and flesh that used to be Natsuki remained silent.

“I'm so sorry…”

“I'm a freak. I can't get away with this…”

Yuri sobbed through choked cries, cradling Natsuki's torso. She wished her tears could bring her back. She wished this would all end. She just wanted to die for what she had done.

Yuri heard something shifting from the guest bedroom. Fear overtook every fiber of her being. How could she explain herself? Yuri immediately started balling up Natsuki and the knife under her blankets. She wiped her hands off on her pajamas but they were already soaked in blood. She debated killing herself but she decided to confess before any of that happened. 

The footsteps came closer. Yuri desperately pulled off her clothes. She threw them into the ball and haphazardly threw on her dirty uniform. Blood seeped into the sleeves from her bloody hands.

“Yuri…?” a familiar voice called.

Yuri sobbed, unable to manage even the simplest of words.

“Hey, are you OK? You don't need to worry, it's just me, Monika.”

The door opened and Yuri screamed once more. She dived over the lump on the bed and tried her best to hide it, desperately hoping against hope she wouldn't notice so she could collect herself.

“Yuri, what's the matter?” Monika's voice was filled with concern. 

“We were supposed to meet up with Natsuki today to discuss the festival. Do you need me to cancel?” Monika stepped closer and Yuri's heart nearly stopped. Unable to take it any longer, she lifted the sheet.

“WE CAN'T!” Yuri screamed between fits of tears.

“BECAUSE I DID THIS!”

“You took…One of my ribbons…?” Monika asked, puzzled.

Yuri looked down to see two pillows stacked on top of each other. Lying neatly on top was Monika's ribbon, tied around Yuri's favorite knife.

“Y-Yeah…” Yuri agreed with Monika. There was no way to explain what had happened, and she didn't want to try. People already thought she was different enough as is, let alone letting them know she was having episodes involving killing her friends.

“Hey, that's alright! You can have it. I have a few extra.”

“If you don't want to cancel, you gotta hurry, we wouldn’t want to miss making our banner or having ice cream, would you?” Monika smiled energetically, and for a moment she swore her eyes flashed the dimmest shade of pink.

“No,” Yuri said, feeling Monika's emerald eyes staring directly into her soul.

“No, I would not want to miss that.”


End file.
